How is it that there is no word for a feeling that everyone knows?
How is it that there is no word for a feeling that everyone knows? For the feeling of coming to a place and knowing: this is the right place for me. This is where I want to be. This is where my soul comes to rest.
Many people have an inkling of this from being near the sea. Researchers suspect that it’s because we originated from the sea. Others feel it in Tuscany. Researchers say that’s because it reminds us of the African savannah, through which our ancestors roamed.
But what I mean is smaller and more concrete – not a landscape, but a place, a house. You arrive, you wonder, and you exhale. Then, as you breathe in, you feel it: a sense of home in a place you’ve never been before. Familiarity where there should be none, with discovery and recognition at the same time.
I have yet to find a name for it in any language. The Welsh word hiraeth probably comes closest. It describes the feeling of belonging to a place, even though you are only just getting to know it. And it has a nice additional meaning: the idea that this place knows a part of you.
In ancient Greek (and here I am venturing onto thin ice, because among my readers is an ancient Greek teacher) there is the word nostos. In addition to a deep, almost mystical longing, it can also be understood as a return home, even if you have never physically been to this place before.
I have spent the last few days in such a place: a house in the south of England, built in 1786 in a village on a small river. The flagstones in the kitchen are as old as the house; it has a fireplace, old furniture, and the front door remains unlocked. And of course, it has a garden currently in full bloom.
Again and again, I had to stop, look, and marvel. Where does this quiet and peaceful feeling come from? What triggers it? The fact that one of the most lovable women I have ever met has lived in the house for almost 60 years and that she is also my mother-in-law certainly contributes to this feeling… but it doesn’t even begin to explain it.
What is it that appeals to our souls so much? Environmental psychology calls it “place attachment” when people develop an emotional bond with special places. Although this sounds okay, it neglects the fact that such a feeling can be there from the very beginning. At least it explains: the place – its light, smells, sounds, etc. – could address precisely the needs of the person who has fallen in love with it.
There is no good word for it. ChatGPT (since we are supposed to be open to new technologies) suggests you might have a déjà-home when you come to that special soul-ground of yours. I must admit: I love these words! The propositions for my native tongue German, weren’t half as nice as these. So, quite unexpectedly, and while I’ve been translating this text, I’ve been given what I was asking for.
What I’m wondering is whether we could also feel this kind of spontaneous affection for ugly places? Or to big cities? Maybe none of that matters. The main thing is that we all find such a place, and can spend as much time there as we like.
Here’s the article in German.
